Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
