does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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