walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
