and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So many bounce houses so little time
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
