in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
