I accidentally burped into my bong.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
