He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
