Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
bring money and cleavage
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
