Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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