I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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