tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
