I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
