Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
