i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
