So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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