take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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