i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
