dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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