im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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