allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
