ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
