hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
