hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
