it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
