Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
