i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
