Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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