His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
