the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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