i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
