Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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