Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
