I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
