his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
