He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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