My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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