omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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