I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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