cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
