My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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