I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
