This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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