How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
