The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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