Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
