dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
