oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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