so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
