you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
