did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
